John Terry and wife Toni: Who do they think they're kidding with PR stunt?
Last updated at 9:53 AM on 14th June 2011
Oh, isn’t it romantic? Look at footballer John Terry and his long-suffering wife, Toni, as they gambol and frolic on holiday in Abu Dhabi. Splish, splosh, they are having such fun on the beach!
Terry tenderly kisses Toni. She smiles gratefully and fondles his bicep as if she was sizing up a beef tomato for firmness. What sauce. Then she applies another coat of flashbulb-proof mascara and adjusts her floss-string pornokini. Thwack! Toni Terry is ready for her close up.
How embarrassing. For isn’t it obvious that the Terrys’ recent flurry of holiday snaps are not the candid, snatched images taken by paparazzi that they purport to be? Look at them. They are about as staged as The Mousetrap. Both the Terrys have sucked-in tummies, perfect maquillage and slicked-back hair, just so. The pictures couldn’t be any phonier if Mickey and Minnie Mouse were doing the beachside canoodling and pink pigs were flying across a blue moon.
PR stunt du jour: John and Toni Terry are seen in a romantic clinch
Instead, what we actually have is one of England’s most notorious footballers and his ever-forgiving WAG, desperately doing their bit to keep his profile squeaky clean. Fat chance. No one is fooled by the palpable chicanery of their steamy beach imbroglio, yet such cheesy images are part of a ludicrous and increasing tendency for erring footballers to try to redeem themselves in the public eye.
Look at Peter Crouch and his fiancée Abbey Clancy, pictured this week enjoying the sunshine in Sardinia with their new baby just weeks before their wedding. Tummies in, best profile towards the camera, breasts aloft and say cheese, please.
All that difficult business with Crouchy and the air hostess in Dubai this year — and a teenage Spanish hooker last August — vanished in the blink of a snog, along with Clancy’s baby weight.
In footballers’ wives’ land, miracles can really happen, and anything which might threaten that new swimsuit deal (her) or lucrative sporting sponsorship (him) is conveniently swept under the carpet in a show of unity.
Of course, such manufactured family images meant to burnish reputations and whitewash bad behaviour are nothing new, but now they happen every summer, without fail.
Isn't it romantic? John and Toni Terry frolic on holiday in Abu Dhabi
Once the final whistle blows for the end of the football season, a new game begins. All those overpaid, orang-utan football stars, all those who have behaved badly throughout the season, all those who have been caught with lap dancers, other men’s lovers, grannies, prostitutes, mistresses and Ryan Giggs’s brother’s wife (everyone, it seems), head straight for the beach.
Once there, they dive into the loving arms of wives whose survival, livelihood and next pair of Jimmy Choos depends on their ability to forgive, forget and absorb the ritual humiliation of their husbands’ infidelity over and over again. For them, it is kiss and make up. For us, it is more a case of kiss and throw up.
From Barbados to Dubai, who has waltzed down the beach of shame together in recent years? Who hasn’t?
Wayne and Coleen Rooney are serial abusers of the holiday romance shots. Cheryl and Ashley Cole have done it — even Posh and Becks have done it. This came at a time when Becks was caught romancing Rebecca Loos back in March 2004.
Third outfit of the day: Toni desperately tries to keep her man's eyes on the ball
As part of a quick fix to repair his tarnished image as a happily married man and upstanding citizen, the Beckhams were photographed together on holiday — on the ski slopes rather than on the beach — but with the usual deep and loving stares or untrammelled love. The piggyback rides in front of the cameras told their own story of marital discord and desperation.
The Terrys, of course, are in a league of their own. The former Toni Poole must have known what the score was — she has been with husband John Terry since they were childhood sweethearts.
Before their fairy-tale wedding at Blenheim Palace in 2007, she certainly knew that her husband-to-be faced public allegations of affairs with eight women. No matter, Toni would not be thwarted from her £150,000-a-week prize, and has remained at his side — no matter what — ever since.
Back on the beach in Abu Dhabi, she wraps her legs around her husband’s waist and gives him the type of full-on, chandelier-swinging snog not usually seen in public — or in polite society — particularly not when your two small children are watching nearby.
Making a pass: The camera is perfectly positioned as Abbey Clancy pulls Crouchy close for a tender kiss
But the Terrys are caught up in the moment, aren’t they? They don’t care if they give each other tonsil whiplash.
The message here is that they are just so, so in love they cannot help themselves. So forget all those mistresses and girlfriends and teenagers and random passing girls that serial philanderer John Terry is supposed to have slept with — Toni certainly has!
Instead, focus on the lovely images produced as the couple stand in front of a handy, picturesque waterfall and gaze into other’s eyes with the ardour of teens who have just kissed for the very first time.
Then, hand in hand, they walk off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Altogether now . . . aahhhh!
Come off it. How stupid do they think we are?
The slide tackle: She snuggles down close. Time to forget that air hostess and the teenage Spanish hooker
What is so depressing is that some WAGs will do anything to keep their man — even if it means losing their self-respect in the process.
The time-honoured punishment for a WAG to mete out to a straying husband is to take off her wedding ring for a week, hide his favourite socks and maybe not speak for a day or two — that’ll teach him!
Then its pina coladas all round and a smooch by the pool at the Burj Al Arab hotel — but only when the world is watching, of course. Job done.
And the only surprising thing about Ryan Giggs and his serial infidelity is that he and his wife, Stacey, have yet to climb into their swimming togs and lark about together by the shoreline, as though nothing had ever happened.
She scores: Abbey displays her stunning post-baby figure. How could he desire anyone else? Until his next fixture
It’s bound to happen sooner rather than later. For no doubt Stacey has been busy studying The Wags’ Bible, particularly those chapters that deal with standing by your man when he strays from the marital bed.
We all know the rules. I’ve written about them before. Rule One: Cling on until your French manicure cracks, no matter what. Rule Two: Arrange these words into a sentence: Side Bread Know Is Your On Which Buttered. Rule Three: Get a porny one-piece, maybe something like Borat wore, and head for the beach.
God, the desperation and determination of these reptile-loving women. I almost feel sorry for them. They’d crawl across a pit of broken glass and scorpions to cling onto the cheating snakes they married.
They set a terrible example to the young women who admire them. For the sad thing is that to become a WAG has become an ambition, a goal in itself, a career option for many deluded young women.
One can only hope that they see the desperate public displays of affection that someone like Toni Terry must put herself through, summer after summer. That perhaps they might take off their rose-tinted glasses and see through the nauseating displays of ‘togetherness’ that are supposed to paper over the cracks of a doomed marriage.
True love comes and goes, marriages are difficult and need work, but sometimes one can’t but help suspect that these are not real marriages — just a kind of commercial co-dependency. The rutting footballer and his supplicant WAG need each other to keep the sleaze from the door.
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The comments below have been moderated in advance.
Who are these women trying to convince the public or themselves, that their relationship is all hunky dory. They are pathetic, wrapped around men who have continuously embarrassed and betrayed them. They have no self respect left. And their slimy sleazy husbands are just laughing all the way to the bed of the next poor young girl who is looking for fame!!
- Karina , Ireland , 14/6/2011 11:54
The papers don't have to take or print these pictures.
- Ces, London, 14/6/2011 11:51
£150 grand a week? I would marry you for half the price.At least I wouldn't have to worry about my household bills. I couldn't give a fig about the other.
- Jaynesgrandma, Northampton, 14/6/2011 11:46
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY.....SO WHEN IT HAPPEN'S NEXT TIME GIRLS DON'T MOAN.....YOUR OWN FAULT
- trudy, devon, 14/6/2011 11:43
How would the Wags keep up their standard of living if they divorce. They will get a "lotta cash" but not enough and no press coverage unless the DM decides to keep track. It's a hard life being a Wag and a harder life not being one. The whole lovey dovey behaviour is nauseating.
- Cathy, Lancashire, 14/6/2011 11:35
What we DONT know is what is actually going through the minds especially in pic 1 Whereas in a normal relationship its "oh, darling I love you" I would imagine the actual thought from him is "hope the wet highlights my bicep, and my best mates get jealous" she thinks "oh God, I hope my ass doesnt have any signs of cellulite" which is propably the truth and sums it all up. Well done Jean, trouble is, people would view your opinion is born from jealousy, which its not.
- Maria Desouza, London UK , 14/6/2011 11:30
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